Q & A

Dear Flower Bucket. 
I used to buy flowers for my girl from the local servo. When I bought them I’d be all like “Oh man, my girl is gonna be so thrilled I stopped to buy her flowers.” I thought the little sticker on the plastic wrapping that said “Say it with flowers” added a touch of class to the whole deal too. I didn’t even bother trying to peel it off. But when I gave her the flowers I kinda got the feeling she wasn’t all that thrilled at all. I kinda got the feeling she thought I was shit. Since when does buying flowers for a girl suck? 

Please help, Lionel Richie 

Dear Lionel, 

1. Service Station flowers are nearly always dead when you buy them.

2. Dead flowers don't make anybody happy. They make people mad.

3. That sticker that says " Say it with flowers" actually means "I like, you, but not that much"

If you want to buy your girl flowers in future I suggest flying something in from the South American rain forest. Then buying flowers will definitely not suck. Or you can buy them from me, that would definitely definitely not suck.

Thanks for stopping by Lionel, good luck with your special lady friend
Enthusiastically yours, 
   the flower bucket